Funny Lines From Crazy Rich Asians

One of the first all Asian cast movies in Hollywood, Crazy Rich Asians, is based on a novel series with the same name. The romantic comedy film follows Constance Wu (Rachel Chu) as she learns to navigate her boyfriend's rich family background. Nick Young's (Henry Golding) mother is the biggest obstacle when it comes to accepting Rachel's scandalous background.

The comedy throughout the movie ushered in many awards from the critics and even the Teen Choice Awards. Hilarious actors like Awkwafina and Ken Jeong are what make Crazy Rich Asians a rom-com hidden gem that we can watch more than once.

Will Rachel receive the blessing from Nick's traditional Chinese family? Here is the scoop on the best Crazy Rich Asians quotes!

1. "It's about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor. But you, not me, oh God. She can't ever know I was here." -Oliver T'sien

2. "Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen." -Pete Chiarelli, Adele Lim

constance wu, henry golding, michelle yeoh
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

3. "I can't believe this airport has a butterfly garden and a movie theater. JFK is just salmonella and despair." -Rachel Chu

4. "You kind of look like a slutty Ebola virus." -Goh Peik Lin

5. "It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not." -Rachel Chu

constance wu and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

6. "Well, he proposed to me yesterday. He said he'd walk away from his family and from you for good. Don't worry, I turned him down." -Rachel Chu

7. "You're a foreigner. American – and all Americans think about is their own happiness." -Eleanor Young

michelle yeoh
Photo by Sanja Bucko – © 2017 WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. AND SK GLOBAL ENTERTAINMENT

8. "God forbid we lose the ancient Chinese tradition of guilting your children." -Astrid Leong-Teo

gemma chan crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

9. "Chinese sons think their moms fart Chanel No.5." -Goh Peik Lin

10. "They're so posh and snobby, it's snoshy!" -Goh Peik Lin

ken jeong and awkwafina crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

11. "If you'd worn the gown, we would have been on American Vogue!" -Eddie Cheng

12. "Your skin is so dry it's hurting face." -Oliver T'sien

constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

13. "I'm so Chinese, I'm an econ professor that's lactose intolerant." -Rachel Chu

constance wu crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

14. "You asked me to here, I assume it's not for a mahjong lesson. Pong. My mother taught me too." -Eleanor Young

15. "You nasty. You're kind of nasty. You got nastier." -Goh Peik Lin

awkwafina and constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

16. "I'm not leaving because I'm scared, or because I think I'm not enough – because maybe for the first time in my life, I know I am. I just love Nick so much; I don't want him to lose his mom again." -Rachel Chu

17. "Is this a church? Or a paddy field?" -Eleanor Sung-Young

michelle yeoh
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

18. "She just thinks you're some like unrefined banana. Yellow on the outside, and white on the inside." -Goh Peik Lin

19. "You can explore hell, you dog turd." -Felicity Young-Leong

crazy rich asians felicity young
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

20. "You can wear the gown to hell, Eddie." -Fiona Cheng

21. "She's like trying to play a game of chicken with me. Where she's like coming at me and thinking I'm going to swerve like a chicken." -Rachel Chu

constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

22. "No one loves free stuff more than rich people." -Mandy Ling

23. "Pursuing one's passion. How American. Well, your mother's very open-minded, not like here, where parents are obsessed with shaping the life of their children." -Eleanor Young

michelle yeoh and constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros. Pictures

24. "That is exactly what a super-rich person would say." -Rachel Chu

25. "Like Singapore, for spring break?" -Nick Young

constance wu, henry golding, sonoya mizuno crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

26. "Did you just copy and paste 'jungle' and just kind of threw it in there?" -Goh Peik Lin

27. "We were inspired by the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles." -Peik Lin's Mother

constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

28. "You wanna get pork buns in the East Village. That's what it is, isn't it?" -Rachel Chu

constance wu mahjong
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

29. "Gosh, she's so badass. You know, I bet if you told her you'd leave Nick for a million dollars, she will write that check. They do that around here." -Goh Peik Lin

awkwafina and constance wu crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

30. "No. Chickens are bitches, dude!" Goh Peik Lin

31. "Don't chase after her and degrade yourself. I forbid it. If you go with her, you can't come back!" -Shang Su Yi

chris pang and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.
constance wu and akwafina
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

33. "I'm not gonna swerve. Not for her." -Rachel Chu

34. "I, on the other hand, was taught by Grand Auntie Mabel. You put the Botox in the face, and then you pinch, pinch, pinch. Then, voila!" -Oliver T'sien

awkwafina and nico santos
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

35. "Well, exactly. You are so different from all of the women that I grew up with. And I love who I am around you. I don't want that to change. And that's selfish, I know. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that on your own. But I'm here now. Whatever happens, we'll get through it together. Dead fish and all. All right?" -Nick Young

constance wu and henry golding
Photo by Courtesy of Warner Bros. Picture – © 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.

36. "You're going to Nick's grandma's house wearing this? Wearing that?" Goh Peik Lin

37. "You're not a chicken. You're gonna roll up to that wedding; you're gonna be like, 'Bak-bak,' bitch!" -Goh Peik Lin

38. "Yeah, I thought red was a lucky color, right?" -Rachel Chu

constance wu, awkwafina, and ken jeong
Photo by Sanja Bucko – © 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and RatPac-Dune Entertainment LLC

39. "And Donald Trump's bathroom." -Goh Peik Lin

40. "Just because some people actually work for their money doesn't mean they are beneath you." -Kevin Kwan (Crazy Rich Asians)

41. "Like Queens?" -Rachel Chu

constance wu crazy rich asians
Photo by Sanja Bucko – © 2017 WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. AND SK GLOBAL ENTERTAINMENT

42. "The only acceptable majors were medicine or law (unless you were truly dumb, in which case you settled for accounting)." -Kevin Kwan

43. "Yeah. If you're an envelope." -Wye Mun Goh

ken jeong crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

44. "Like Singapore, for spring break? Colin's wedding. We've been dating for over a year now, and I think it's about time people met my beautiful girlfriend. Come on; I'm Colin's best man. Don't you wanna see where I grew up? Meet my family, my Ah Ma?" -Nick Young

constance wu and henry golding on airplane
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

45. "The man glared at her as if she had insulted all of his ancestors." -Kevin Kwan

46. "There is nothing in the world that good food cannot fix." -Kevin Kwan

crazy rich asians poster

47. "I hate to point out the obvious, but here's this tiny bird that's been trying to get through a huge bulletproof glass wall. A totally impossible situation. You tell me it's been here every day, pecking away persistently for ten minutes. Well, today the glass wall came down." -Kevin Kwan

48. "We cannot be linked to this sort of family." -Eleanor Young

michelle yeoh and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

49. "No, no, no, no! You can't wear that to meet Nick's Ah Ma. Blue and white is for Chinese funerals." -Kerry Chu

50. "I know!" -Felicity Young

janice koh crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

51. "It's an illusion. We understand how to build things that last. Something you know nothing about." -Eleanor Young

52. "You don't know me." -Rachel Chu

constance wu and gemma chan
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

53. "I don't want any part of your family." -Rachel Chu

54. "You find out I'm having an affair with another woman, and you're worried about making a scene?" -Michael Teo

michael teo and astrid
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

55. "Yes. Honestly, I wish you would. It would show you cared about more than what people thought of you and your family." -Michael Teo

56. "Like a $10 million check. I feel like she would do that." -Peik Lin Goh

constance wu and awkwafina
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

57. "You asked about my ring. The truth is Nick's father had it made when he wanted to propose to me because Ah Ma wouldn't give him the family ring. I wasn't her first choice. Honestly, I wasn't her second. I didn't come from the right family, have the right connections. And Ah Ma thought I would not make an adequate wife to her son." -Eleanor Young

58. "The universe has spoken. It wants you over there. Come to Singapore. I want the whole island to meet the brilliant Rachel Chu." -Nick Young

constance wu and henry golding
Photo by Sanja Bucko – © 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and RatPac-Dune Entertainment LLC

59. "Maybe he's embarrassed. Maybe his parents are poor, and he has to send them money. That's what all good Chinese children do. Now you're going to have a wonderful time. You've always wanted to go to Asia. And who knows, if all goes well in Singapore, you might just come back with a souvenir." -Kerry Chu

60. "Your face is Chinese. You speak Chinese." -Kerry Chu

crazy rich asians party
Photo by Sanja Bucko – © 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and RatPac-Dune Entertainment LLC

61. "My family has business with the airline. The tickets, they're a perk." -Nick Young

62. "These pajamas are fancier than any of my real clothes." -Rachel Chu

63. "There's half of them that you love and respect, and then there's the other half." -Nick Young

constance wu and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

64. "My pleasure. People will love it in the next Hong Kong Vogue." -Russel Wong

65. "What's his name? This is a very small island. Maybe we know his family." -Neenah Goh

66. "Hells yeah. The Khoo's, the Youngs. I mean, who doesn't know who they are? They're just the biggest developers in all of Singapore. And Malaysia, Thailand, Brunei, New Mexico." -Wye Mun Goh

ken jeong
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

67. "Even if he isn't, I guarantee you the family is. Which is why tonight, you need to not look like Sebastian of the Little Mermaid. You know, the little crab guy?" -Peik Lin Goh

68. "Beautiful? It's two hundred mil worth of real estate. It's spectacular." -Peik Lin Goh

constance wu and awkwafina
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

69. "Oh, no, no! Those are for your fingers." -Nick Young

70. "And she's brilliant. NYU's youngest faculty member." -Nick Young

71. "Self-made woman. She must be so proud of you." -Eleanor Young

constance wu, henry golding, michelle yeoh
© 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and RatPac-Dune Entertainment LLC

72. "So, economics sounds challenging. Are your parents' academics as well?" -Eleanor Young

73. "So have you prepped Rachel to face the wolves?" -Astrid Young Teo

74. "I'm not walking out on anything. I met a girl, I fell in love, and I want to marry her. And it can't be just one thing or the other." -Nick Young

75. "I really admire you. It takes guts coming all the way over here, facing Nick's family. Especially when Eleanor isn't exactly in your corner." -Araminta Lee

sonoya mizuno crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

76. "Not like the ang-mohs, microwaving macaroni and cheese for their own children. No wonder they put their parents in the old folks' home when they all grow up." -Alix Young

77. "Actually, they met at Cambridge. They were both studying law together." -Nick Young

henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

78. "Okay, your family aside, have you ever thought about what your relationship with Rachel will be like if you got married? I mean, okay, you're Nicholas Young. You're untouchable. You always have been. But Rachel's not. And if she becomes Mrs. Nicholas Young, every day for her is going to be a struggle." -Colin Khoo

chris pang and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

79. "Dude, ever since primary school, you were always going to be the next chairman of the Young Corporation, your family's shining heir. You really think your family's going to accept anything less than that? I mean unless you… No. Are you thinking of walking out? Leaving everything to bloody Alistair and Eddie?" -Colin Khoo

80. "Rachel is a New Yorker. She lectures millennials for a living. I think she'll manage our family." -Nick Young

chris pang and henry golding crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

81. "I feel like I shouldn't even go to the wedding. You know, it's Colin and Araminta's day. I don't want to cause any drama there. I feel like I should just sit it out. You know, tell Nick I had food poisoning or something." -Rachel Chu

82. "That's bullshit. You're just scared." -Peik Lin Goh

constance wu and awkwafina
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

83. "I know what a banana is." -Rachel Chu

84. "Damn straight, I'm right. It's Peik Lin, I'm always right." -Peik Lin Goh

awkwafina crazy rich asians
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

85. "When, in reality, you're like a super sophisticated, smart professor of freaking game theory. Show her that side of you, you know?" -Peik Lin Goh

86. "It's like a bag of Skittles. Taste the rainbow." -Oliver T'sien

constance wu, awkwafina, and nico santos
© 2017 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.

87. "Really? That's too much. We're Methodists, twenty million is our limit." -Felicity Young

88. "I hired a private investigator…" -Eleanor Young

michelle yeoh
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

89. "…but that's not true. Your mother's husband is very much alive. During her marriage, she cheated on him and became pregnant with another man's child. And before he found out, she ran away to America. It's all in here." -Eleanor Young

constance wu, henry golding, and michelle yeoh
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

91. "She has been begging me to come visit her, you know." -Rachel Chu

92. "Amanda knows everyone and she has never heard of her. Rachel Chu. Maybe she's from the Taiwan plastics Chu family." -Jacqueline Ling

93. "Mom, stop! Nick and I haven't even talked about that. I mean, his parents can't not like me, right? What was that look? I saw that." -Rachel Chu

constance wu
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

94. "Just go with it. Come on." -Nick Young

95. "Real estate, investment, other things. Nothing interesting." -Nick Young

96. "Which half am I meeting?" -Rachel Chu

constance wu and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

97. "His best friend… You're invited to Colin Khoo's wedding?" -Neenah Goh

98. "It's totally worth it. Mother used to wait for me after school with a nice basket of these." -Nick Young

99. "Oh." -Rachel Chu

constance wu and henry golding
© 2018 – Warner Bros.

100. "I'm glad I found you. I am afraid that I've been unfair." -Eleanor Young

It's official! Crazy Rich Asians will be back with the same cast. However, other projects have caused a significant delay in filming. But while we wait for the sequel, catch Gemma Chan in Eternals, Michelle Yeoh, and Awkwafina in Shang-chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Hope you love these quotes from Crazy Rich Asians as we do!

Watch Crazy Rich Asians on HBO Max!

For more hilarious quotes, visit these articles:

  • 100 Best Ted Lasso Quotes
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Source: https://sarahscoop.com/100-best-crazy-rich-asians-quotes/

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